The day I told her "I love you" for the first time

A couple of weeks ago I went up North to spend the last days of Ramadan in one of my favourite mosques in the UK.

I felt like I was due for an emotional release but wasn't giving myself the space nor the time to feel my emotions and let them out.

For as long as I can remember, I have always struggled with expressing my emotions because when I did as a child, they were never welcomed and accepted.

 I grew up believing that emotions had to be repressed at all cost, especially if you were a girl.

Crying was for the weak, shouting out of anger for the savage. Stoicism was the only choice to be accepted and fit in.

Laughing too hard would be a source of judgement and reprimand.

When I would go through immense pain as a teenager, I would make it a point to not shed a tear and keep on pushing through.

I thought I was being strong. I was just numbing the most vital part of myself: my feminine energy, which the side of us that feels emotions.

With time and inner work, I obviously let go of my limiting beliefs about emotional release.

Sitting on a bench in a green scenery during my spiritual retreat up North, I put on an Emotional Release breath work audio and I just let myself feel and release it all.

The breath work practice was quite intense, prompting me to think about sad events in my life and allowing me to not run away from whatever came up.

After that, I felt this urge to call my mother and say I love you.

Something I had never had the courage to do before because just like anger, sadness and joy, love was rarely something we expressed in my family.

It was a beautiful and candid conversation: my mum told me she loved me too and my heart felt a sense of peace and warmth I used to yearn for as a child.

 It's in moments like this that I see the results of the feminine energy healing I have been doing for years.

This is your reminder to call that important person in your life and tell them you love them before it's too late First name.

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Looking forward to support you in your growth, in the meantime, ma'a salama my love.

Soumaya